I just found out a few weeks ago that cows have best friends, and they get sad when they aren’t together, and my heart is exploding.

For the love of Pete, why do we feel safe under blankets?? It’s not like a murder is going to come in and go “I’m gonna ki….ahh, DANG! She’s under a blanket.”

A surefire way to get humbled when you start to get too big for your britches is to try to turn on someone else’s shower.

Does anybody else lock your car door twice just to let any nearby robbers know you mean business, or is that just me?

I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it up when it’s ready.

Magazines convinced me that knowing how to “go from day to night” was going to be V important…I’m still waiting for an opportunity to use those sharply-honed skills.

Sometimes when I pass a line of extremely nice cars on the highway, I secretly wonder if they are really Transformers.

I’m weirdly obsessed with “last words.” I try to always make sure the last thing I tell someone before I leave is something sweet, just in case one of us dies that day. *I know, I know, I’m damaged*

I am 30 years old and I still check for murders behind my shower curtain.

If you’re reading this and we grew apart as friends, there is a 100% chance that I am cheering you on from afar and I still love you with all my heart. ♥

I wonder what percentage of people actually grow up to be what they wanted to be when they were 5. And I wonder what percentage of those people actually love what they do.

Anything involving raisins would be 10 times better with chocolate chips in it. For example, cookies…trail mix…a box of raisins…

As a kid, I thought I’d have to deal with the Bermuda Triangle and quicksand a lot more often than I have in my adult life.

No one is going to stand up at your funeral and say “She had a really nice car and great shoes.” We shouldn’t make life about stuff.

One day you’re not old, and the next day you have a favorite cleaning rag.

Life is too short to pretend you don’t like catchy Taylor Swift songs. Quit pretending. Everyone else is having way more fun than you just being themselves.

I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous…but I totally still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

In the midst of the crazy, the chaos, the pandemic….don’t forget to laugh. 😘