You guys. OH. MY. GOSH. 

I can’t overstate my excitement right now.

My in-laws live five minutes away from one of the largest casinos in the world, a monstrosity that has hosted world-class performers like Maroon 5, Olivia Newton John, and Blake Shelton. Tonight, WinStar will host an incredible pair of comedians and I WILL BE IN THE AUDIENCE WATCHING THEM.

Who are they, you ask?

Well. I’ll give you a hint or five.

To adequately prepare myself for the outstanding talent and hilarity I will no doubt experience, I’ve been watching little bits and pieces of the following:

– Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
– Arrested Development
– Saturday Night Live
– Father of the Bride
– The Prince of Egypt

These two men have performed together in three of the above.

They are so funny it hurts.

They are so talented it’s stupid.

It should be painfully obvious by now…!!!

AHHHH!!! We’re going to see Steve Martin and Martin Short! I am so pumped!

How should I greet them if fate intervenes and I meet them in person? I’m leaning toward screaming and passing out in front of them (similar to when Jess and Nick meet Prince in New Girl). Any better suggestions?

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things THROUGH HIM who strengthens me.”   >> Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV, emphasis mine)

Life as a twenty-something seems like a constant state of transition. The world has so much to offer us – and we have so much to offer the world! I often find myself lost in dreams of what my life could look like: jobs I could have, people I could help, and ways I could ‘save the world’ while I’m young. Whether you’re in the workplace or staying at home, we all have an innate desire to feel needed, like we have something of value to offer. But when you don’t know what’s ahead for you, kid-wise, job-wise, or otherwise, feelings of uncertainty and fear can creep in. You start looking around at all of the successful young people and wonder why you haven’t “made it” yet.

What are you doing wrong?
What is your “big thing” going to be?
Where are you going to live?
Where/when should you move?
Should you take a new job?
Are your reasons for wanting a new job good enough?
When are you going to get married and have kids??
When is your life going to have significance???
Why haven’t you done something monumental yet???????

Questions like that are paralyzing, especially when you feel like no one else but you is asking them. We should know better by now, but nobody has it together. Even the people who look like they do are freaking out internally.

All my life, I’ve felt a little rudderless when it comes to choosing a career. I wanted to be a veterinarian news anchor ballerina when I was little, but there has never been one path that just stuck. I like to do about a million different things, but none of them combine into that “perfect job” that everybody looks for. I’ve struggled for a really long time, trying to figure out why I don’t seem to have a clear calling in a particular direction like other people do. But I’ll never forget a conversation I had once with my sister a few years ago – literally life-changing. I was explaining my discontentment and frustration with my job situation and wondering aloud what my “thing” was, jealous of my friends and family members who always seemed to know what their “things” were: teaching, meteorology, medical school, etc. She listened patiently, then half-smiled at me in a (rare) moment of silence and said, “Laura…why do you have to have a thing?”

….what?

My thoughts screeched to a halt and I realized that all of my answers to her question were really dumb:

“Because everyone else has one.”
“Because I won’t feel fulfilled until I have one.”
“Because that’s just what you do.”
And so on and so forth.

I had reduced my ability to make a difference in the world to a mere career choice and forgotten about the things I was already very certain of, like being married to Daniel and our involvement in the college ministry.

I stopped being content where I was because I forgot why I was there.

The key is remembering that your ability and opportunity to live life well don’t depend on how certain your future is or how good your circumstances are. Paul knew that. That guy went through way more than we probably ever will. In 1 Corinthians, he goes through a long list of terrible things that happened to him, including being beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, without food often, and in danger from robbers, rivers, and even his own people! He had more reason to complain and worry about his current situation and his future than anyone you or I know. And yet in his letter to the Philippian church, he told them he found the secret to being content – relying COMPLETELY on Christ to sustain and fulfill him. Paul was content because he knew that whatever God called him to, even if it was difficult, he would endure through Christ who gave him strength.

If you’re like me, you haven’t really figured yourself out yet. And you’re not sure where you’ll be or even where you want to be in the next few years. But that’s okay! It’s kind of beautiful, actually. We know how our stories started, and if you’re a follower of Jesus, you know how your story will end! God knows the in-between stuff, and He’s better at writing our stories than we are anyway.

So – if you know what your “thing” is, what is your thing?? I would love to know! If you don’t have a thing – have you let yourself be discouraged by your lack of a thing? How can you be useful to God where you are right now?

So this is how I woke up today:

– Slept in a little on my day off
– Enjoyed listening to the rain
– Realized I was listening to rain dripping in our room (again)
– Dragged myself into the bathroom to get towels, promising my bed I’d be right back
– While bent over with a towel, looked up and saw a cockroach a foot from my head
– Immediate, uncontrolled, no-filter reaction: “Oh HAYYYLLLLLL NO” (….sorry Mom)
– Swelled up with the strength of twelve tiger-nados
– Destroyed the cockroach
– Almost vomited picking its guts up with a Kleenex and throwing them away
– Gave up on ever sleeping again
– Tried to find a way to include Nutella in breakfast
– Remembered we have no bread
– Settled for eating it out of the jar with a spoon

But enough about that. First things first:

Wow. WOWWWWWW.

It’s only been two days since I started this Internet party, and I am overwhelmed by the page views, shares, likes, comments, follows, messages, texts, carrier pigeons, etc. that I have received from you all! How outstanding to be surrounded by such supportive people from the very beginning.

Secondly, I discovered “Friday Introductions” on Instagram a month or so ago and thought this was the perfect time to jump on the bandwagon! Hold on tight, because I’m about to condense two and a half decades into six bullet points (which seems to be the only way people will read anything these days):

 1. My full name is Laura Costanza Rihanna Lucita Hendrickson. (JK, that would be horrible to learn how to spell in kindergarten.) After being a Laura for 25 years, I’ve learned that many people are very concerned about saying your name the wrong way. Apparently some Lauras get very offended about mispronunciation? Some people call me Laura with a “Law,” other people call me Laura with a “Lore” (a fact which provokes the rigidly “Law” people to remind me that my name isn’t spelled “L-o-r-a” and therefore shouldn’t be pronounced with a “Lore”). I’ve been called “Simma,” “Simba,” Simma down,” and “Samantha” (maiden name variations). Someone even called me “ma’am” the other day? Definitely not old enough for that one yet.

2. I am unashamedly and unwaveringly Christian. Not the “go to church and try not to cuss” kind of Christian, but the kind with an actual friendship with God, the one true God who made me and everything else that exists. I am forever indebted to Him because He saved me purely out of His own love, not because of anything I did to earn His favor. I have nothing good to offer the world on my own, but because He rescued me and made me a completely new person, I have the ability now to love unconditionally, forgive willingly, and live freely. I am so far from perfect it’s laughable, but with God as my strength, I do my best to live each day with two commands in mind – love God and love people (Mark 12:30-31). If you want to know more about what I believe and why, please email me at embracingthechaosblog@gmail.com – I don’t have all the answers, but I would love to chat it up with you!

3. I’m married to literally the best (non-divine) man who has ever existed. He is a mess and without a doubt one of the best friends I’ll ever have. He loves coffee and weapons. Oh, and beef jerky. And camping. And doing pretty much anything else besides studying for the CPA exam. Sorry, babe. :( Remind me and I’ll rub your shoulders tonight.

4. My family is better than your family. SORRY. They just are! My parents are both seasoned Oklahoma educators, my little brother is an actual meteorologist in Amarillo, TX, and my little sis is just a year shy of being an elementary teacher! I love them more than pretty much anything else. I also got incredibly lucky and snagged not only a great husband, but a great second family! I’m grateful for “parents” who love me like I’m really one of their kids, and “siblings” who treat me just as terribly as they do each other. :)

5. Favorite things: the ocean, Chick Fil A, “watch-over-and-over” TV shows (The Office, New Girl, and Arrested Development top my list), plants on the front porch (even though I kill them all…*sad*), witty books, chocolate chip cookies, Epsom salt baths, tall trees, dogs, cats, the color grey, my cutie nephew (pictured above the 1. bullet) hammocks, popsicles, sticky notes, snail mail, and almost everything at Anthropologie.
Not-so-favorite things: green peas, COCKROACHES, cleaning the stove top, working out, anything coconut, bad grammar, and watermelon-flavored things. Actual watermelon = gimme. Flavored gum or candy = no.

6. I’m not quite on board with being an adult yet. I remember being a kid and thinking, “Man, I can’t wait to be a grown-up! I’ll get to drive, and have my own place, and get married,” and so forth. Then one day I realized that I have a car, and a house, and a husband, and a job, and a bank account, and a 401k, so I guess…I’m…an adult? Not nearly as glamorous as I thought it would be when I was in 7th grade, but it’s growing on me!

I’m also a big fan of fireworks shows! My favorite fireworks are the weeping willow ones that burst, then fall and leave glittering golden trails behind. And also the ones that burst once, and then the individual sparks split again into giant light clouds. My plan is to kidnap Daniel at some point during a CPA study session to go watch a local show tomorrow night. And, of course, no July 4th weekend in Oklahoma would be complete without our extremely shady neighbors shooting off unreliably-sourced fireworks…in their yard…next to our house…all night. Goodbye to sleep for the next 2-3 days, and dear God please don’t let our house catch on fire.

What are your 4th of July plans?

It’s my very first blog post.

What. in. the. ham. sandwich.

The first real step forward after over two years of nudging the idea around but always talking myself out of it.

“You don’t know anything about web design.”
“You’re not a photographer – all anybody looks at anymore is pictures.”
“You have nothing new to say, it’s all already been said.”
“You’re too young, you have no relevant life experience.”
“You should have started sooner.”
“You’re not funny enough.”
“You’re not inspiring enough.”
“You’re a starter, not a finisher. You’ll quit within a year.”

And the tiniest, scariest voice of all:

“What if nobody even reads it?”

But all of those voices were effectively silenced by a much steadier Voice that quietly encouraged, “Do it anyway.”

And here we are.

Sooooo….is this the part where I tell you how much I like coffee and the mountains and Ray Lamontagne, and all the other *quirky-yet-endearing* things about me that make you go, “Man, this girl is the coolest and I want her life because it is so full of awesome” and then you read all about me and realize I don’t have anything figured out ever?

LOL no but really.

I’m Laura: hopeless sinner made alive by a great God, wife to Daniel, university recruiter, “New Girl” aficionado, bacon lover, and now, against all odds, blogger! (Currently, I’ve actually never been to real mountains and I kind of hate coffee, but maybe someday I’ll get my act together and find out what I’ve been missing.) The idea for this blog was born out of a combination of my love for writing and my passion for engaging other people in real conversations about things that matter. (And also because I need an outlet for all the awkward things I do because I am just weird, and those funny things should be documented to embarrass my future children.) I like food, married life, the Gospel, college ministry, Netflix, traveling, and especially Nutella, and I’ll write about all of it.

Here’s what I want this space to be:

Transparent. Brave. Imperfect. Barefaced. Inspiring. Genuine. Fun.

I don’t have life figured out. And neither do you – don’t kid yourself! But there’s something kind of great about that. Life is just better when you quit the charade and embrace the beautiful, messy, glorious chaos that is your life. (See what I did there? It’s all coming together, it’s fine. *taps finger to head*)

Fair warning:
– I will talk about God. Like a lot. Like all the time.
– I really like my husband and I’ll write about him a lot too.
– If and when I have kids, I will probably like them too and post about them wayyyyyy too much. I already know it’ll happen. Shut up, they’ll be cute and you’ll secretly creep/stalk every post about them.
– Photography is not my spiritual gift; ergo, most of my pictures will be iPhone photos……..sorrynotsorry.

I would love to just say “I can’t wait to see where this thing goes” and leave it at that, but the truth is I’m terrified because I have no idea what’s going to happen. I have a vision for this space, but only God knows what will really come from it. At this point, maybe that’s the best place for me to be – excited, uncomfortable, and completely dependent on the One who’s big enough to handle all the things I don’t see yet.

It’s only fair to end with something cheesy and inspirational. We all need more cheesy and inspirational in our lives, after all. And few words of wisdom have been more encouraging to me in the start of this new chapter than these:

via

A few special shout-outs:

…to Heather Dean of The Deans List for my logo’s fantastic calligraphy,
…to Tiffany Newton of THECOLOR11 Designs for the beautiful watercolor logo design and helping me construct/strengthen my overall vision,
…to Jennifer Briggs, the “light of my light,” for being even more excited about this whole thing than I am,
…to Daniel Hendrickson, my handsome better half, for listening to me proofread this post to him about 17 times before I finally published it,
…and finally to Dayna Simma, my world-class mom, for faithfully liking absolutely everything I post on social media and therefore guaranteeing me at least one loyal reader. :)

Now that you’ve checked out my little corner of the world – it’s your turn to share! What kind of things do you like to read about? What would you like to see featured on Embracing the Chaos? Let me know in the comments!

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